A chronicle of the meanderings, false starts (which in retrospect, while sort of embarrassing turned out to be highly instructive), epiphanies, selective apathy (still evolving), wild mood swings, opinions (subject to frequent change), and life lessons of an inveterate dabbler (and her latest dabblings).

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Roberta

Roberta
Meet Roberta. She is my new friend, who keeps me company at work. She also happens to be a real live faerie--an Anxiety Faerie.

"What is an Anxiety Faerie?" you may ask. But better you should ask, "What can an Anxiety Faerie do for me?"

According to Di, at snotnormal (the portal through which Anxiety Faeries enter our world):
"Anxiety Faeries will absorb all angst and dread from an anxious person. They come from a mythical land far, far away, where people have piles of ugly, tedious paperwork and cars with dead batteries, and bosses from Uranus. A land with things called global warming, Fukushima, and WalMart, and root canals, and Miley Cyrus . . . and where are all the bees going, anyway?"
"Well, how does one avail oneself of the powers of an Anxiety Faerie?", you ask. Excellent question.

Again, Di explains:
"When agitated, simply clutch your Anxiety Faerie to your breast, with both arms. Then rant your heart out. Don’t hold back. Your Faerie can take it." 
Well I tell ya, Di don't lie--Roberta is, so far, impressive. I confess I have clutched her to my breast a couple dozen times since she arrived. Because of lack of privacy, however, I have so far only muttered and not ranted, and yet still felt considerable relief. It is also effective to simply look at her. She normally sits just to the left of my computer screen so I need only slew my eyes slightly to the left to see her startled but comforting visage.

Sometimes it is just enough to be together, without saying a thing--that's how you recognize true friendship. Those comfortable silences. Roberta often likes to look out the window at the distant mountain peaks while I work.
Chillin'
As you might imagine, the life of service to which an Anxiety Faerie is dedicated can be a tiring one, and sometimes you just need some down time. Roberta is, like me, an introvert, and sometimes after a hectic day of being desperately clutched to my breast 10-12 times she just needs to be alone. If I see her in the jade, I know to just leave her be for a while.
A Leafy Retreat
On occasion I have inadvertently woken her from a well-deserved nap:
Wakey Wakey!
But for the most part, we make a great team. Roberta is definitely a believer in "Tough Love," and if I'm freaking out and not taking the time I need to release my anxious emotions, she just gets right in my face and doesn't let up until I do what I need to do, even though that means she's going to be crushed. She's a brave and generous soul.
Not taking "No" for an answer, young lady
And don't let the firm set of her jaw fool you--she loves her some silly fun, and no one can play hide-and-seek like Roberta:
Very clever, but maybe still struggling with the concept of transparency
By now I am sure you are asking, "How do I get my own Anxiety Faerie?"

Well, I'll tell you, it's really quite simple. If you are 1) pure of heart, and 2) wicked anxious, simply click here --> SNOTNORMAL <-- and follow the instructions of the incomparable Di: "Poke around and pick something out." You will not be disappointed.